My guardian angel

I am supposed to look exactly like your great grandmother. I have couple of pictures of her and I have to agree, I do look like her. Unlike me, she is not smiling in the pictures, her hair is tied straight , you will never find me like that, but we both have that same look - the strong look, I can do it all look, the don’t mess with me look.

History

I know little about her other than what Amma and Appa have told me. She passed away when I was 6 months old, but somehow I feel a strong connection to her. Her name is Asothai Ammal and she lived in the early 1900s, I wish I knew more about her childhood. She was married off to your great grandfather at a young age and she gave birth to 9 children. From what I know, she is a strict no nonsense mother who tried her best to feed her children, ran the grocery store with her husband and had a prominent position in the village. Your great grandfather was a businessman and was also the headman of the village.  

Why I want you to be like her

• She was an awesome cook, very fast and efficient. ( I told you that we were alike) The chicken curry that you enjoy is her recipe. Sometimes when I come back after a long day at work and I have to cook, I take a deep breath and call my inner Asothai Ammal. We are in different situation, she probably had a long day too, for her to make a chicken curry involves chasing the chicken, killing it, skinning it and then cooking it in a kitchen that it half the size of my clothes closet. I think to myself, I work a white collar job, make more money than she had ever imagined her granddaughter would make, chicken is right there in the refrigerator and I have to work in a conditioned granite counter top gleaming kitchen. Moreover my husband does the clean up later. I smile and say to myself- “Get going missy, Life is awesome :) all you need is a little perspective.”

• Her life could have been better, as you can imagine, having 8 children in a rural village in India in early 20th century must have been hard. But Appa says that whenever anyone comes to their house asking for food, she never turned anyone down. She used to make do with what little they had, but always made sure that other people had something to eat too. I know that our situation is very different, but we both have the same genes from her and I would like to think that we would be kind and generous when the situation arises in our lives too. It is one thing to give to charity when you are well off but totally different to share with others when you have so little.
• From all accounts, she was a good mother, Appa has fond memories of her milking the cow and then holding his hand in hers and holding the milk pot in another. Appa says he loved talking to her, just like you talk to me, Bobo. He does not remember their conversations, but whenever he talks about the happy times, it fills his eyes with tears and longing for his mother even three decades after her death. The bond between mothers and their children has not changed much, you may not remember the the little things we do, but somewhere in the corner of your brain, the emotions and the events are held for us to reminiscent for decades after the loved ones are gone. 
  
  
  
  
  

I sometimes wonder what would she be if she was born in late 20th century and not early 20th century

- She was smart, very smart according to my unbiased :) father. I am positive that she would be well educated and if I have to guess her profession, she would be a obstetrician. She helped other women and her daughters give birth to many children. She was not a midwife by profession, but was certainly an authority in her village.  

- Or maybe she would have been an engineer as she was supposed to be very good at math. Whatever she chose to become, I see her as a career woman who is in charge of her own business.

As you can see, I don't know much about her, but I feel her presence in the oddest moments. I don't understand this but I feel a strong connection to this woman. I don't believe in guardian angels, but if I had one, it would be her.

 I hope I tell you more stories of her as you grow up and you teach your children her recipes. Let us not forget her legacy, especially something as tasty as her chicken curry :)