Pick, Amma, Pick

I am a cuddly huggy sort of parent. You both get generous amount of hugs, kisses and picking up. I love doing it and it is very natural for me to do it, so it has become a habit. This is great for everyone, except when I am around, you both need to be picked up; “Pick, Amma” is a constant phrase around the house. When I am not there, you are perfectly happy in your little worlds with no “pick up” required. I am taking the blame for this pick up weakness. Even Though I love and encourage it, it’s a constant struggle this picking up business. The tug between holding you in my arms and the pull of duty – mostly cooking and running around the house trying to accomplish other things is a drag. But things are changing.

Recently, we had another one of the now common sibling rivalries . It happened something like – “Pick me up, no pick me first. Me first” and then the two of you were tugging my clothes vying for attention. As I just wanted you two to be upstairs and in the bathtub, I jumped to the easiest solution of picking the  both of you up together. After all, super mom, just wanted to get things done, not caring about the process of getting it done. I have been carrying the two of you for the last two years, so this is another usual thing around our house. But now I suddenly realized that you two are not babies anymore. I was carrying more than 60 pounds and I could feel that this is no longer an easy fun thing to do. I was struggling to get the two of you up the stairs.

This incident, few others similar to this and big sister’s need to accomplish new milestones, I came up with the idea of creating a milestone – “No more pick up” milestone. I explained to my 45 lbs 5 year old that the picking up days are coming to an end as she is soon going to kindergarten and getting a little too heavy for comfortable picking up. As usual we negotiated a little ,

“What about sitting on your lap” – You can still do that

“What about feeding me food” – You are still allowed that luxury

“What if I have a really really bad day?” – You will get many tight big bear hugs

“ What if I fall and break my leg” – Hmmm, ok, Yes, Maybe…

And it was set! “No pick up milestone!  You have passed the “No pick up” milestone today for a month and my back couldn’t be happier. I hear some complaints from you about how little brother is so lucky to be picked up often, but other than that you have been true to your word.

Which brings me to my second little cutie! You are this perfect cuddly human being. You are a born cuddler. Even as a baby, you always knew how to hug and you have perfected it at the age of 2. Here are a few examples of the “pick up” scenario and how it plays out

Early evening – as soon as we come home - I love the way you extend your arms and the look on your face when you say “Pick Amma”. Your eyes are soft and I can see the longing in your eyes. I almost always pick you up unless I am carrying other things. I love the joy in your eyes as I pick you up and you are secure in my arms. You quickly move on to other things – usually negotiating snacks, but first you hold on to me and we both inhale deeply taking each others scents and our moods. Just from that pick up and hug, I can usually judge your mood and how your day has been and I am sure you can pick up my energy too!

Late evening – this is usually an hour after we reach home. We have played for a while, cuddled and eaten. Now I am trying to cook dinner and trying to engage you two in some activity when you come to me and say “Pick”. I ignore you or ask you to do something else. Then the intensity of the word “ Pick” increases. The word pick is more forceful with the - “It is my right to be picked up, how dare you not pay attention to me” kind of intensity. I give in most of the time and when I pick you up, you have a “Ha ha” look of accomplishment on your face and you hold me tight. Sometimes when I try to put you down, you do a monkey style movement where you clamp to me and have this impish look on your face as I struggle with an awkward 25 lbs monkey baby refusing to leave me.

The occasional long pickups - These don't happen often - usually when you are sick or when we travel, you want to be held for hours. The one I remember very well is on the flight back from Paris when you were less than 1.5 years old. You would/could not sleep but were perfectly content if one of us held you. The plane was noisy, the people, the lights, I guess you were just looking for comfort in the swaying and in the holding. I remember standing there for more than an hour and each time I think you are in deep sleep you would look up to check where you were. I would whisper- “Amma is right here” and you would close your eyes.

There are many more pick up scenarios, but my favourite is when you are sleepy and we sit in the rocking chair and I hug you and sing a lullaby to you. Right now, you are the perfect size for me. We fit in just right. When I am holding you, we look like one of those classic portraits that comes to mind of a mother and a child! You are not too small, you are not too big. Your height is just right so that you can wrap your legs around my torso and your head rests on my shoulders. Your arms are small but strong and you hold on firmly but lovingly as if this is a final hug before you go on a long journey. The long journey is just a few hours of lovely sleep, but it is all relative! 

I know that one day you will also reach your milestone of “No pick up ever”, but till then I will  cherish carrying you.

I have one wish little baby-  I hope when you leave home and go on adventures of your own, you will hug me the way you hug me now before you go to sleep! Snug, tight, strong and for that moment, there is no one else on Earth but the two of us!