Transition

 I was doing yoga today morning and my 5 year old woke up, came looking for me and crawled under my down dog. He blows me kisses lying under me and scoots to the side as I come down on a chaturanga. He is lying so close to me that as I move my elbows I have to make sure that I don't hit him. I get down on the mat and scoop him up and hug him. I ask -” Where is Gaaje (big sister)?” She replies from another room to let me know that she is awake and up to something. I get into a balancing pose and my son holds my leg to help me balance. Honestly it is not helpful at all, but I give him a big smile and to show him that he is super helpful. He kisses my feet that makes me off balance, we both laugh as I fall down from the pose! He seems happy that his work is done and moves along to the next room to play with gaaje.

Few years ago, I would have so little time to get any time to do yoga, which is one of my favorite activities. When I try to do it at home, the kids would run into the room and pile on me. They would get under my plank pose, just lie  there and not move,or  just stand next to me and ask a million questions - “ Why do you have to breathe, why are you lifting your leg, what is a warrior”....the questions would never stop... In my mind, I would think - I spent all day taking care of your needs, I just have 30 minutes , please let me be! I would get super annoyed. I obviously would not show it to them, probably shoo them away or just stop the practice for a later time. 

But over the years, I have changed and they have too, it is probably the pandemic. I had nowhere to practice yoga but home, so they got so used to me doing it that it was no longer a novelty. I got so used to them rushing into me, just knocking me over that it is now part of the practice. I no longer get annoyed, in fact I enjoy it. Its almost like, I now expect and need that distraction!

Last year I found that my 4 year old was doing a sun salutation by himself just because he has been watching me do it! No one ever really taught him but he just does it. The kids can name my favorite instructor, sometimes they demand that I stop the class right now as there is some existential crisis happening in toddler world. I now have no issues, stopping my practice, solve the crisis and get on my mat!

But today after I got toppled by my son, and he left me to be with his sister, I was trying to remember the last time she came over to bug me, lie under my poses, ask those seemingly never ending questions she was so famous for. I realized that she doesn't do it anymore. She may come in, look at me and ask - “ How many more minutes?” or “ Can I have a snack? ” Thats it...thats how it is with children...one moment you are annoyed by their neediness, next moment you are missing the exact same thing! Things you took for granted doesn't exist anymore...

I am glad that she does not interrupt my practice but boy, I would love to have that giggling child under my downward dog daring me to do a chaturanga, kicking me with her legs, doing the perfect happy baby pose that I can never master. 

As I lament about days gone by, she walks into the room. She calmly sits by my side watching me for few minutes. She asks- "May I join you?" And just like that life just transitioned beautifully from one phase to another as I transitioned from one pose to the next. She came to my side and we did the practice in silence for the next few minutes. In the end, as I was doing a bridge pose, she does a gorgeous cartwheel and encourages me to do the same. She gives me some tips to get my back higher and laughs when I struggle. We both end up laughing on the mat and my son comes running again to join the fun!

All I want to do is somehow pack this moment and never let it go...I don't want to transition to anything...life was perfect at the moment. But transition is the beauty of life. People move, change, sometimes for the better, sometimes not the best...but I hope sincerely that whatever transition life holds for us, in the end we are all together laughing, rolling on the floor with laughter, giggling with each other!