Belt Day

 Few weeks ago was my daughter’s karate test for an orange belt. She knew her material well. The night before I reminded her to put her hands back in chamber, more power on her Kiai and little reminders and adjustments. On the day of the test I made sure she ate a good breakfast, not too early, not too late, not too much, not too little, you know the usual mom stuff. As we were about to leave she got cold feet, not about her test, but the material that comes with the next belt. As we were driving, I gave her a pep talk, you know just focus on the test, on the current belt. One belt at a time, we can worry about the next belt after you get it. During the test, she would look at me once in a while and I would give her a big thumbs up and a smile. Yay! You go girl!!

Today was my test day. It's interesting how much time you spent on your daughter and her test day and how little you spend on yourself on your test day. 

I am an early riser but my 4 year old decided that he would beat me today. So we cuddled for a while and then went downstairs and started working on a Leprechaun trap at 5am. The stakes were high on the trap. You know some families who do their preschooler’s project on the morning it is due, that is totally ok, but we are NOT that family. We make every single "show and tell" as if it has been our only task for that week. I am not kidding, when I say we have a brain storming session, ideas are collected, my son chooses an idea and then we have an implementation session when we walk in the basement collect supplies and execute the idea as best as we can with the supplies we have.

Usually the theme for next week’s project is announced on Friday. But this week, the teacher called me aside when I went to pick him up gave me a heads up. She said “I know you guys like to do elaborate projects, so I wanted to give you a heads up on the topic” OMG! No way! I know the topic ahead of other parents by one day, wow!! So obviously I got carried away... Two hours later on a Saturday morning we had a trap 70% done and my little guy could not be more happy. A whole two hours of legos, loads of cutting of green paper stuff, drawing and painting rainbows, gold coins, dress up a LOL doll as a leprechaun....a 4 year olds dream!

Saturday means blueberry and chocolate pancakes for breakfast, so I fed everyone. THEN, I remembered that I have a test, so I made lunch to make sure everyone will be fed while I am gone. My brain was being pulled into twenty different directions - the swiss chard on the stove, my daughter’s playdate and her refusal to wear a jacket, I really really really wanted the Leprechaun trap to have a pulley system but I couldn't think of a simple easily available wheel to turn into a pulley. Then I thought, “Forget about all this, I need to focus on myself, I have a test...so little time to practice or focus.”

 So I get into the shower to mostly clear my head, when my husband comes inkstands outside the shower and keeps going on and on about a dentist appointment I missed. Well, thanks a lot for helping me clear my head darling...Now on top of having a scrambled head I am also mad at myself for not checking my voicemails and at him as he was disturbing my plan to clear my head . As I got out, put on clothes, I take a few deep breaths and think “ Something is missing, I need something,What do I need?"

 

Deep breath no: 1 told me - “ You forgot to eat a good breakfast moron! It is not enough to feed other people, you also need to eat if you want to do 40 pushups!” Good point! Food usually solved most of my issues.I should have eaten.

Deep breath no: 2 made me realize that the test would be easy, but it seemed like I needed a pep talk to get to the parking lot of the karate studio. 

I knew what to do, thanks deep breaths.

 It was late for them but Appa answered my call with a big smile when he saw me in my Karate outfit. Amma came running to talk to me and gave me a thumbs up and wished me luck, the exact same smile and Thumbs up I give my daughter. I don't know how they do it, but they know EXACTLY what to tell me - Amma said - “ Looks like you had a busy morning with the trap, making pancakes, did you already make lunch too? You look really good, you will do great! Can you show me the trap? Is Fi excited?” 

That is all it took, less than a minute of a WhatsApp call, the smiles, the thumbs up, all the right questions, sort of validating my crazy morning and the smiles; their smiles are like warm hugs that somehow has the magic of unscrambling my brain and I am suddenly so totally ready for the pushups, the sit ups, the forms, whatever Sensei may throw at me... most importantly I was ready to get to the parking lot. 

Honestly, the morning was not bad at all, it was a perfectly normal Saturday morning but I needed something to ground me , let me know that I can do this even though I screwed up the dentist appointment, even though I don't have a solution for my pulley system, even though my daughter refuses to wear a jacket over her dress. 

I think most of the time in life, the color of the belt does not matter, the material for the test does not matter, how much you prepared for it days before does not matter, often as an adult getting to the parking lot is what matters, showing up with focus is what matters. 

When you struggle, what matters is that you have a support system that will help you to unscramble your brain, make you smile, take you back to the happy place  in a moment's notice even when they are thousands of miles away. 

Here is what I wish for you, my babies, that you have someone to call, someone you know will pick up the phone no matter what time of the day it is, someone who is totally present in your life even if they are physically miles apart, someone who can in one smile or a certain tilt of their head make you stand proud and tall and forget about your limitations, I wish with all my heart that you have that someone always and every stage in your life just like I have always had!